This post is a little more real than just my travel posts and it’s because something has really be weighing down on me lately. Have you ever done everything for a friend and then you find out that aside from not appreciating all that you have done for them, that they are also painting a terrible picture of you to others just because? Have you ever had a “friend” tell people lies about you, about people they know but in fact they don’t know those people, you do? How about a friend bash your passion, your blog, use you for free stuff? Why can’t people just support you and lift you up? Because that is life, these people are put into your life to teach you something.
For those who have experienced something like what I listed above….I feel for you because I am going through this right now. Does anyone have any advice on what to do here? Do you approach the person and tell them that you know? Do you just distance yourself from them and hope it fades away?
It shocks me that someone can be so mean and just continue to beat you down and not even to your face…to other people who know you and tell you about it. So let me tell you a little bit about me:
I started my blog not because everyone else was doing it or because it was the cool thing to do, but because I love to write, I started this for ME and my followers on Instagram asked me to post more details about my travel. I know that I have not been as consistent as I want to be and I have so many trips in my drafts that I have to finish and post but I am a perfectionist and am still trying to figure out my brand.
My modeling is something that I have done since I was a little girl. It is something that I love to do and of course I wish it was my full-time job but I have always loved to be involved in a lot of things. Juggling modeling with my full-time job, family time, alone time, friend time, etc keeps me happy. I know that sounds strange but it is true!
My friends and family are my everything. If you are in my circle you are in it for life (unless trust is broken or something like that). If you call me and need help…I’m there. If you are trying to figure out the next career path you want and you need to talk it out…I’m there. If you had a rough week and just want to go dance and forget about life for a little…I’m there. What I am learning more now that I ever have is that I give give and give but when I am down or need some support…there are few people I can rely on.
I used to actually be the opposite of a friend in my past. I would keep to myself and that was because I was bullied in grade school. There was a point in my life where I had more guy friends that girl friends and that was because guys tend to be less dramatic and the ones I have in my circle are loyal, forgiving, fun and encouraging. It took me awhile to open back up to people and trust them though. I am not sure what made me get to the point of letting people into my life again but there is a happy medium. A filter or a checklist you go through.
My life is not perfect. I get messages on Instagram from so many of you saying that you wish you lived my life, to teach you my ways, that I have a perfect life. Social media is a great distraction and illusion. Now in the photos I post am I happy and loving my life? Yes! But that doesn’t mean that there is not more going on in my life. I have family issues, job issues, and internal issues that I battle every day.
It’s kind of ironic that this is the post I am writing today. 5 years ago today I was put in the hospital by someone I trusted and let into my life. He used my kindness and drained the fight and light out of me. He knocked me down any chance he could and I was blinded by any of this until I was physically harmed. Sometimes you miss the verbal cues. Since then I have grown, saw a few therapists and found the light of my life, my husband. I think I have let these teaching moments slip a little lately. I have forgotten my checklists and let people take too much from me and I have let them dull my sparkle.
This is me taking my life back. It is easy to get caught up in life and forget the things that keep you you. Surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally, who support you always, who WANT to be there during the good, the bad and the ugly. These people are few and far between but they are out there. I have my few and they know who they are. I appreciate them reeling me in when I stray from my core. I appreciate their support. I appreciate them pushing me to be the best I can be. These people exist and remember to stay true to you and your best self. Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle because your sparkle is beautiful and makes this world a better place.